Thursday, March 12, 2009

Free Massages for Finals

I just received this in my Blitz inbox from Student Assembly.

Finals got you down?
Your stress levels off the chart?
Then sign up for a free massage!

On Friday, March 13th from 1:00pm - 4:30pm two license masseuses will be giving 15 min massages for free.

Sing up sheet will be posted on the SA office door (Collis 205A) @ 5pm TODAY. First come, first served.

Also, be on the lookout for the Dartmouth Moose on Friday. It will be coming around with some delicious treats and warm hugs.

We're firing faculty, cutting courses, and we've got a football team with an offense less effective than Pickett's Charge, but heaven forbid we cut costs by getting rid of free massages during finals.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are the massages provided by one of the Sexpert student life advisors? The ultimate Dartmouth experience. Sign me up.

Salutations said...

"Much Love, Your Student Assembly"

Anonymous said...

Sterling, this old line is getting a little tired. Ironically, I'd be willing to bet a decent amount of money that TDR stands for fund cuts for African-American Studies, Women and Gender Studies, LALACS, NADs, etc...

happyending said...

woah, 28 free massages!!!! no way!!!!

just like SA itself, this event is relevant to 0.7% of the campus population.

wait what? said...

happy endings? nobody mentioned that... i'm sure that figure will skyrocket from 28 now.

Salutations said...

Sterling: Why did you edit down the email, and delete the Much Love part that caught my attention?

You guys should not be editing after publication, just as we posters live with our words.

Shaky said...

Why no masseurs? Where was OPAL on this one?

Anonymous said...

As I read the email, they are not promising two masseuses with licenses, but an indeterminate number of masseuses having two licenses each. Are these granted by the state of New Hampshire or what? Surely this is a practice that needs government regulation.

Anonymous said...

Line under one of The Dartmouth's on-line lead photos:

"Delta Delta Delta sorority President Meg Montgoris ‘09 attends a discount event at JuliAna’s Boutique for members of the sorority."

A discount event, not a charity event? This clothes shopping is newsworthy? Thank goodness The D is now in one of its quiet periods.

Sterling C. Beard said...

I edited it down because the post was too spaced out and difficult to read in its original form.

Anonymous said...

Sterling (and other TDR staff): If you are going to edit things, check thoroughly and do it before you create the thread. Making changes after comments begin often leads to problems, and accusations!!

Anonymous said...

@11:52 pm:

Hi Mom!

instantmassage said...

Joseph "Asch said that each year for about 15 years he has audited a course or two at Dartmouth to keep in touch with students and faculty members."

Valley News.

How can Asch's presence in the classroom have any effect except to make the experience more like that of a university, where non-traditionally aged students, graduate students, and weird TAs hang around in the back, call the prof. by his first name, and show off how much they know?

In his own small way, Joe Asch is helping turn Dartmouth into a university.

wary said...

Anyone notice that Frederic J. Fransen, who offered the fundraising services of his "Center for Excellence in Higher Education" to Frank Gado and his lawsuit in 2006, has changed the name of his Center to "Donor Advising, Research & Educational Services"?

The new DARES is no longer a nonprofit. It is a Limited Liability Corporation owned by Fransen. How you can do that legally, I don't know.

Particularly fishy: the "DARES In The News" section is just articles by and about Fransen.