Sunday, June 30, 2002


I've returned to the Hanover Plain for a brief stint as a research assistant and I noticed that the memorial in Collis to those Men of Dartmouth killed in Vietnam has been replaced by a list of winners of a Martin L. King, Jr, award. Is there a reason for this? I'm sure this has been noted elsewhere...

Saturday, June 29, 2002

Drug testing

Dartmouth student Lindsay Earls loses in her appeal to the Supreme Court over mandatory drug-testing for participants in extracurricular activites. The Court was split 5-4, with Justices Thomas, Rehnquist, Scalia, Kennedy, and Breyer in the majority.

Writing for the dissenters, Justice Ginsburg fears that the policy "invades the privacy of students who need deterrence least and risks steering students at greatest risk for substance abuse away from extracurricular involvement that potentially may palliate drug problems."

"This policy reasonably serves the school district�s important interest in detecting and preventing drug use among its students, we hold that it is constitutional," wrote Justice Thomas for the majority.

More on Gov. 30

A discussion of Dartmouth's Gov. 30 syllabus, as described by Rollo Begley on this page the other day.

From Campus Nonsense.

Friday, June 28, 2002

XI = 11, not 9...yes?

From the D: "Moreover, her [new Athletic Director JoAnn 'Josie' Harper] promotion arrives in a year marking the 30-year anniversary of Title XI (federal legislation guaranteeing equality for collegiate women's sports)."

Thursday, June 27, 2002

Brit Hume

He just signed off, "Fair, balanced, unafraid...and under God."

Wednesday, June 26, 2002

On flattery

Mr. Joshi might note that most of the reportage in TDR's "The Week in Review" concerns Dartmouth and local goings-on.

It's hard work to cover a small community intelligently. On the other hand, taking pot-shots at those with which one has political disagrements is pretty easy (oh, those silly, murderous Israelies!).

Mel Brooks remarked that "Tragedy is if I get a paper cut on my finger. Comedy is if you fall in an open sewer and die." In that sense, Mr. Joshi, your columns are uproarious.

'Roided Up

Tatum O'Neal says that her ex-husband John McEnroe took steroids during his tennis career. Does she honestly think anyone would believe this?

The sincerest form of flattery

The ever-creative Hemant Joshi has a column in today's D called the Week in Review. Of course it's not that funny, but after all it's really hard to compete his all his fine work of the past, especially that "Piccolos Save Lives" article where he took a Review article and replaced the word guns with the word piccolos. Funny stuff. Note to the summer Review staff: you had better put out some summer issues or else our boy Hemant won't have anything about which to write (after all, how many George Bush coloring book jokes can you make?).

Saturday, June 22, 2002

Southwest Airlines

has a new policy that will make fat people buy two seats.

Friday, June 21, 2002


Will profs ever acknowledge the difference between equality of opportunity versus equality of outcome?

Thursday, June 20, 2002

Govt 30 syllabus

Includes terms you need to know, such as:

"Left -- favoring a greater degree of equality (social, economic, political)
Right -- favoring a greater degree of inequality, believing that a select few should have power based on birth or merit
Radical -- favoring fast, large changes toward equality
Liberal -- (the narrow, modern definition) favoring slow, gradual changes toward equality
Classical liberal -- favoring a system of free markets and competitive individualism
Conservative -- favoring slow, gradual changes toward inequality"

Professor Michael Krasner. Politics and Media.

Cultural Event

July 19-20th. Burlington. Vermont Brewers' Festival. You're welcome.

Tuesday, June 11, 2002


The NY Post reports that students loved Mr. Rogers's commencement speech. Hardly. The standing ovation cited was very slow to come. Remember, we're a polite bunch: Alex Winters could get a standing ovation at a Dartmouth commencement.

Not so fast

In a follow-up to Hummel's post regarding the new AD, apparently Charles Harris has resigned due to questions about certain items on his resume. Sounds similar to the George O'Leary situation at Notre Dame.

Monday, June 10, 2002

In other news...

Overshadowed by Commencement, the College has hired a new athletic director, Charles Harris.

Sunday, June 09, 2002

Rogers Speaks Lyrics

In my latest editorial, I included a few lyrics Rogers likes to use during commencement speeches. Well, he used them and a few more.

"It's you I like," Rogers says.

Rogers Concludes

"I wish you the strength and grace to make those choices that make you and your neighborhood the best..."


More Fred Rogers

He is talking about computers right now...could get ugly.

Change of subject:

"Our world hangs like a magnificent jewel...everyone of us is a part of that jewel."

Fred Rogers Speaks

"We've had painful times...[unintelligible].

Honorary Degrees

Wright is currently introducing Fred Rogers: "We are delighted to have this neighborhood." Applause and one airhorn.

Graduate Degrees in Progress

That's about it now. I suppose I should set the Commencement scene for you.

The morning began cloudy and threatened rain. I feared for the worst, for if it were raining I would not be able to provide this valuable service to you. But, the clouds have burned off and the sun is out. The temperature is hovering around eighty. Being from the South Carolina lowcountry, this weather reminds of a brisk fall day, but, always taking precautions, the College has set up water coolers throughout the Green. An ambulance is also standing by lest anyone die of heatstroke.

I am going to try to get a better view for the rest. I will be back shortly.

Live at Commencement: Larry Scholer Reports

First of all, let me welcome anyone who is joining me live right now. Perhaps, you are homebound, maybe you are just lazy...don't worry I will not let a detail slip by.
Senator Judd Gregg is in attendance�he marched up to the stage with the professors. Mr. Rogers passed and created quite a buzz among students and parents alike.
While no real Commencement action is occurring, I would like to describe my morning. I arose at 3 AM as my current living arrangements are less than adequate. Dartmouth, of course, kicked me out of my room early this week and I have been living in an office, which, although comfortable, is not acceptable for my residential needs. Anyway, I arrived on the Green around 5:30 and started placing issues in strategic locations (Commencement issue is online now). Around 8 I began personally distributing issues. This guy,short and slight, started standing beside me and telling people not to take a Review. "Do you know what that is?" he'd say. "That is not the real Dartmouth paper." This went on for a few minutes,. even after I had personally told him, age 45 i'd guess, to behave reasonably. He finally left.

They are giving out graduate degrees now. boring.

Friday, June 07, 2002

To All The Seniors

In honor of your impending graduation, allow me to provide the most valuable gift I can offer: one piece of advice that would have saved me a great deal of trouble around this time last year. Simply put, there is NO REASON to attend the commencement rehearsal. DON'T GO. Its only purpose is for those who have hard-to-pronounce names to make sure the person who will be calling theirs at commencement has it right. For everyone else, it's useless. You will learn nothing you couldn't have figured out in 2 minutes the following morning. Last year, I found myself listening to the Senior Class Dean share that I should always, "be what you is, not what you isn't, because if you is what you isn't, then you isn't what you is." Hungover, at 9 in the morning. Please, don't let that happen to you.

Congratulations, and have a great last few days in Hanover.

More on Rogers

It seems like Mr. Rogers has got plenty of fans. This is representative of the emails we've received (though not any, I should note, from students):
Dear Graduating Students:

Upset about having Mr. Rogers speak at graduation? You think it's silly
because he had a children's TV program and liked to wear sweaters and he
isn't exciting enough for you? I suggest to look again. Here's a man who
followed his bliss. He continued on even though people have been making fun
of him and his program, for years. He not only followed his bliss but became
more popular and influential towards children and finding goodness in them
than anyone else. So, he followed his bliss, went against current trends,
became popular, and overall very successful; and his "own",
there's a guy you hate giving advise to young people just starting out in
life. Mr. Chris Moore, the philosophy major, had better look beyond the TV
show and props and discover the man behind it; who has lead a fulfilling life
and contributed to the welfare of its children; he need to open up his
philosophical insight.

Thank you,

Dave Miller

Thursday, June 06, 2002

"Mr. Rogers Causes a Stir at Dartmouth"

AP story here. My guess is we could've gotten someone from the current administration--maybe Rumsfeld or, at worst, Rod Paige--but, for Dartmouth's own administrators, it just wasn't an option, politically. So we get Mr. Rogers. If he makes us sing, I'm leaving.

More Weirdness

"Yeah, huh, what?" Someone was knocking on my bedroom door. How long had it been going on? I couldn't say.

Bob, clad in boxers, stumbled in. "It's the head of the anthropology department. He says it's important." He handed me the phone and went back to bed, himself.

Important? Was there an anthropological crisis of some sort? Did they want to give me an award? Was I in trouble? Was this a dream?

"Andrew, this is Kirk Endicott, chair of the anthropology department," he began. "There's a problem with your major."

It was an academic nightmare. And, only three days before graduation.

Great. Well, I thought, at least I've got a second major so they'll let me graduate. Two years of study down the drain wasn't a thrilling prospect, though.

The department's records indicated that I had only taken nine of ten required courses. Had I petitioned for another course to be counted? I hadn't. Had I filed a major card? I had. Endicott apologized: the department had lost it. I was pretty sure that I'd taken the ten courses, but, lying in bed, twisted in the sheets, groggy, I doubted that I could name them all. Had I taken ten courses? I'm not a math major; I sometimes miscount things.

What courses had I taken in other departments that I might petition to be counted towards my anthropology major? There was that religion class with Reinhart; that was close. I had done several independent studies with a faculty member who had since left Dartmouth; any of those could be made to qualify, probably.

Endicott asked me about specific courses. He asked if I had intended "The People and Cultures of Sub-Saharan Africa," which I had taken during the fall term of my freshman year, to count towards my major. Wasn't it an anthropology course, anyway? Yes, actually, it was; in fact, it was the prerequisite for the second anthropology course that I'd taken (and, presumably, been given credit for, otherwise I would have had only eight courses). So why wouldn't the class, numbered, I remembered, Anthropology 44, count? Somehow, it had been listed on my transcript as being in the "African and African-American Studies" department, a cross-listing.

As if I needed another reason to dislike AAAS.

"Well, it all checks out. I'm sorry for bothering you, Andrew. If I woke you up, you can go back to sleep."

Now I'm just waiting for the economics department to call.

High Wierdness at Dartmouth

I was at last year's Commencement. My memories of it are a bit hazy, but I'm almost sure it didn't involve anything like this (if you have a high-speed connection, use that video; I couldn't get the 56k one to work at all).

Rehashing an Old Topic

The Barcelona LSA is winding down, and of the four classes we took, two had self-grading components. I never realized how common this practice is.

Wednesday, June 05, 2002

Wednesday Agenda

(hey, it's Senior Week; some of us just woke up...)

"DJ Blackout" 11 P.M., Chi Gamma Epsilon--Plus the usualy beery accompanyments.

"Pizza" 11 P.M., Collis Porch--College social events persist. Pizza by Ramunto's and music by "Common Creep."

"Salsa" 11 P.M., Poison Ivy (that usually empty room in the basement of Collis)--College social events persist. Could-be candidate for least-attended event of the season.

Tuesday, June 04, 2002

Time Just Flies

Several Dartmouth Review staff graduate this year. Read about them here and peruse several of their best articles.

Tuesday Happenings

(It's senior week! 'Bout time)

"Senior Week" 3 - 5 P.M., Commonground--Kick off with ice cream and t-shirts.

"Songs and Arias" 7 P.M., Faulkner Recital Hall--Tenor Nathan Swift '02, accompanied by Timothy Newton on the piano and mezzo-soprano Rachael Degenshein '04.

"American Pie 2" 9 P.M., Blunt Hall--Yawn...

Monday, June 03, 2002

British Marines

They have been battling it out in the mountains of Afganistan for I don�t even know how long, and what�s their biggest fear? Gay locals. "They were more terrifying than the al-Qaeda," says one battle-hardened marine. The Scotsman reports.

Oregon Residents Vote to Ban U.N.

"Don't play coy with me. You know as good as I do, who 'they' are..."

Sunday, June 02, 2002

Home Sweet Home

It seems as though New York State has been doctoring the passages used for the reading comprehension part of the Regents Exam (required for public high school students in NY). "Most Jewish women" are now "most women;" "Jews are Jews and Gentiles are Gentiles" gets deleted (without elipsis points); Kofi Annan no longer praises "fine California wine and seafood," but "fine California seafood;" people no longer "went out to a bar" but merely "went out;" "skinny" people are suddenly "thin," while a "gringo lady" is now an "American lady," and "hell" has now become "heck."
In short, virtually all references to race, religion, ethnicity, alcohol, profanity, etc. have been edited out of the works of Chekhov, Annie Dillard, John Holt, Frank Conroy, and others. The State Education Department says that it is merely following "sensitivity guidelines," but apparently some of the authors have found out and are a little less than pleased. This is all in Sunday�s New York Times, but I think you need a password to access it. I�m a little nervous about posting this, but I can just hope Dartmouth doesn�t get any good ideas out of this.